


What I've been missing

by Poetinprogress1234



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2020-05-28 07:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19388953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetinprogress1234/pseuds/Poetinprogress1234
Summary: Josette Saltzman has been dead and buried for seven years. No one knows what happened on that fateful day that Josie's life was taken from her, but everyone has tried to make peace with her passing. Some have taken steps to move forward, while others struggle with the fact that she'll never come back. That is, until Josie shows up covered in dirt, disoriented, and confused on her twin sister's doorstep with no recollection of how she'd gotten there, and no memory of dying in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

"Sit down, Josiah", Elizabeth Saltzman bellowed to her eldest child, her hand planted firmly on her hip. She stirred the pot one last time, closing the glass lid on top to keep in the heat. "Honey can you get Jaycee?", she called out, hearing her husband walk around on the secnd level of the house. "She's upstairs in her crib." She gets no response, but a second later MG walks into the kitchen, carrying his two year old daughter in on his hip. He sets Jaycee in the high chair, leaning over to kiss Lizzie's cheek. He's still in his work clothes, his tie half undone around his neck. He looks tired, but he still takes the time to set the table while Lizzie ladles out their dinner onto fresh plates. "That smells great, babe", he comments, sitting Josiah down in his booster seat. Lizzie rolls her eyes at his compliment. "It's just spaghetti, Milton. It won't win a prize anytime soon." "I like your 'sketti, mama!", Josiah exclaims, banging his fork on he table. Jaycee follows her brother's lead, banging the little plastic spoon on her tray table with a toothy grin on her face. Lizzie scowls at Milton. "See what you've started, mister?", she scolds him playfully, attending to their rowdy children. MG takes the plates and lays them out on the table, giving his wife time to settle their children down. When the kids are distracted with their food, the two exhausted parents sit at the table, ready to enjoy a meal together. 

Milton takes it upon himself to put the kids down for bed before joining his wife in the kitchen. Lizzie is elbows deep in soapy water, but her mind isn't on the dishes. She has that far off look in her eyes, the kind of look that was worrying to him. It had been years since Lizzie last had an episode, but he was weary of the signs that had been so familiar to him before. He makes his presence known, snapping Lizzie out of whatever recess of her mind she had trapped herself in. "Hope comes back tomorrow", he mentioned, capturing Lizzie's attention. She hummed gently as she rinsed off the plate, but he could tell she was listening. "She asked if we wanted to come to dinner, you know, after she and Landon are settled in." "That would be nice", Lizzie commented curtly. "The kids would love to see their aunt Hope, especially Jaycee. They haven't seen her since christmas." Lizzie smiled, shaking her head. "I swear, I wonder if I birthed her child sometimes." "She has your spirit, mon amour.", he reminded her, making Lizzie smile at him, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapping around her waist. "She has my good looks, of course, but she's all you. And Josiah is-" "Josie", Lizzie whispered, swallowing hard. Her grip on the plate tightened, her knuckles turning white to match the pale look on her face. "Josiah is exactly like Jo." "Yes, and that's not a bad thing babe." Lizzie squeezes her eyes tight, taking a deep breath and pulling away sharply. MG frowned; It frustrated him that no matter how close he had gotten to Lizzie- all the bitter storms they had weathered together- she would always shut him out when it came to Josie. 

"How's satan doing?", she asked sarcastically, placing another clean dish in the dishrack. "How does she like Paris?" "Well enough, I suppose.", he answered, leaning against the counter. "She sent the kids a post card. I haven't heard from her much; I figured she was settling in." Lizzie looked at him with concern, and Milton quickly calmed her fear. "Hey, she's fine, Liz. Raf stopped by on his way out to the seminar in Lyon. She's fine, and she's taking her medication. I checked with the pharmacist, and her shrink." Lizzie relaxed, turning away from the sink. "Do you think we should have let her go all by herself? It hasn't been long since-" "We can't control Peez; We both know that. Penelope wouldn’t listen to us even if we put up a fight. We can only keep a close eye on her and hope she figures everything out on her own." Lizzie sighed, leaning into his arms. "I just worry, you know? We can't lose anyone else, even someone as annoying as Pen." Milton rubbed his wife's back comfortingly. "She's fine, love. We're all going to be fine.", he assured her. "Now, let's get some sleep. The rest of these dishes can wait until morning."   
______________________________________________________

A large bang from somewhere outside the house jolted Lizzie from her sleep. She shook her husband's shoulder gently. "Did you hear that?", Lizzie whispered into the darkened room, but she was met with silence. She would have thought she was dreaming, until she heard the loud noise again. "Milton!", she hissed, waking up the man on the other side of the bed. "I think someone is trying to break in!" MG sprung up from the bed, Lizzie hot on his heels. MG grabbed the bat from behind the bedroom door, keeping Lizzie behind him. "You go make sure Josi and Jay are okay. I'll handle this." Lizzie nodded wordlessly, carefully opening their childrens' bedroom doors. She peeked in to see her son asleep under the covers in one room, and her daughter fast asleep in her crib in the second. She sighed in relief, closing the bedroom door as to not disturb the children. She waited until she heard the front door open and close before creeping down the stairs. When milton returned, he was not alone. Lizzie, taking in the scene as a struggle, lunged forward, the bat in her hands. Milton looked up, his eyes widening. "Liz, stop!", he called out, his hand meeting the full force of the bat. He cried out in pain, and Lizzie dropped the bat in surprise. 

"I thought you were hurt!", she yelled, holding his hand gently in hers. "Well, I definitely am now", he grumbled, and Lizzie uttered a soft apology. She looked at the figure lying face down on the floor. "Who is that?", she asked curiously, and MG just shrugged. "I think it's a woman, but she's so caked in dirt that I can't even see her face. I can't feel a pulse either. God, it's like someone dug this poor girl out of the ground." "A grave robber?", Lizzie stated in shock. "Why would they dump her off here?" Milton looked from the figure to his wife. "I don’t know, but I'm calling the police." Milton left to the next room, pulling out his cell phone to make the call. Lizzie sat in the chair by the figure, feeling oddly protective of it. "I don’t know what happened to you, or how you got here, but I hope someone can put you to propper rest again.", she murmured. She got up to join her husband in the kitchen, but was stopped by a pull of her leg. To her surprise, the figure had clasped onto her foot, making her scream in surprise. 

"Milton!", she yelled in desperation. "It moved! Oh my god, it's alive!" Milton rushed into the room, just as the figure started to cough up dirt from it's lungs. "It's choking. Help me turn it over", he asked, and the two of them turned the figure over enough for it to sputter out a mouthful of dirt. When it could breathe again, it sat upright, wiping the dirt from it's face. When she saw the figures features for the first time, Lizzie gasped. She felt as if she might pass out, as if her eyes were betraying her by what she saw. "Holy shit", Milton exclaimed, looking up at his wife. "It can't be…Are you-" "I'm seeing it too.", Lizzie admitted, clenching her jaw. She stepped forward shakily, holding her hand out to the figure. "Jo?", she called out to it gently. "Is that you?" The figure turned her head to Lizzie, her face screwed up in fear. "Liz?", it croaked out, looking around. "Where the hell am I? What happened?" Lizzie turned to Milton, who was in complete shock. Lizzie threw her arms around her sister, squeezing her tightly. 

"You're home, Josie. You're finally home."


	2. Chapter 2

"I was dead?", Josie asked in confusion, gripping the coffee mug MG had offered her tightly in her hands. "That makes no sense. I would remember being dead, wouldn't I?" MG looked to Lizzie, who in turn looked to Josie. "I don't know, Jo. All I know is we buried you a long time ago, and now you're here." "What's the last thing you remember?", Milton asked, trying to make sense of the situation. Josie thought about the question hard, her brain foggy. It felt as if her head was heavy, and she couldn't quite put her thoughts together. "Dad came to visit us at the university.", she recounted. "You said something about needing new sheets, and he laughed. Then…I'm not sure." "That was two months before she died.", Lizzie whispered, tears welling im her eyes. Josie sighed in frustration. "You need to quit looking at me like that, like I'm a ghost. I'm not dead- I'm sitting right in front of you." Milton put a comforting hand on his wife's back, steeling her. "Liz, why don't you check on the kids. I'm sure they were scared from the commotion." Lizzie nodded silently, excusing herself from the room before the first of the tears fell from her face. �  
"Look, we're sorry, Josie. We're just as confused as you are", he admitted, running his hand through his hair. "We buried you, Jo. We saw your body- you were completely lifeless in a casket that I had to pick out because no one else could do it. I just…It's not possible that you're here right now." "And yet, I am.", Josie stated matter-of-factly. "I need a shower, by the way. Desperately." Milton sighed, getting up from his seat. "The guest bathroom is on the right. Everything you need should be in there. In the bottom drawer is an extra pair of pajamas." Josie nodded, doing as he had instructed. With Josie occupied, he went to check on his wife. He found Lizzie on their son's bed, Josiah curled up in her arms asleep. He sat next to Lizzie, transferring the six year old into his own arms. "She's alive", Lizzie stated out loud, shaking her head in disbelief. "How is she alive?" "I don't know.", Milton admitted honestly. He sighed, hitting his head against the wall with a thump. "Do we tell the others? Your dad, Hope- Penny?" "I'll call dad, and you can call Hope.", Lizzie said. "But under no circumstances can Penelope find out." "What if Josie wants to speak with her?", Milton asked, and Lizzie bit her lip nervously. "I don't know, babe. I just know that Penelope can't lose Josie twice. She can't know. It will kill her this time."  
_______________________________________________________________

"I can't believe I missed your wedding", Josie gushed, flipping through the photo album on her lap. Milton had left to his office to settle things before he took his unexpected vacation, leaving Lizzie, Josie, and the kids alone in the house. "We had a seat reserved for you- well, your spirit", Lizzie explained, pointing to the open seat in the front row. "It was Milton's idea. He knew how much it meant to me to have you there." Josie looked sadly at the picture, turning the page. "Your kids are beautiful", she commented, running her thumb against the picture. "We named them after you- Josiah and Jaycee.", Lizzie mentioned with a soft smile. "Jaycee's middle name is Josette." Josie looked up at her sister with curiosity. "What happened to me, Liz?", she asked, sensing her sister's avoidance of the question. Lizzie took a deep breath before speaking- she had dreaded the question all morning. "I came into your dorm, and you were lying on the floor, drenched in blood. They didn't let me see anything after that; Hope held me back when they took you away. I…I didn't see you until the funeral." Lizzie shuddered at the memory. "From what they told me, it was probably best that I didn't see you. Hope left in the first year after, she and Landon graduated early and went traveling. He joined the army about a year ago, after he and Hope lost their baby; She kept traveling, but she comes to visit every few months. She's never missed a christmas eve, on her way up to her aunt Freya's. She has a dog now; His name is Jack. Rafael is a teacher, and he does these seminars around Europe. He has a girlfriend, and a two year old daughter named Savannah. She lives with her mother in Florida." "What about Penelope?", Josie asked softly. "Pen's okay. She moved to paris about a month ago; She said that Mystic Falls held too many memories.", Lizzie explained, holding back the full truth. Josie saw right through her. "What are you not telling me?", she asked blatantly. Lizzie sighed. "That's just not my story to tell, Josie." Josie frowned, but took this as an acceptable answer. 

"So, what do we do now?", Josie asked, closing the album gently. Lizzie shrugged; She had heard of dead people coming back to life, but never seven years after they had been burried. She was just as lost as her sister was. "I'm not sure what happens next. Milton and I are going to call dad, and when Hope flies in later today I'll break the news to her." Josie smiled fondly; She felt a strange longing to see the redheaded girl, who had always been like a second sister to her. "What about Penelope? I'd like to speak to her." Lizzie swallowed hard, debating how to handle her sister's inquiry without giving too much away. "Yeah, we can call her later, after we can better understand all this." Josie looked up at the doorway, noticing two pairs of eyes trained on her and Lizzie. She nudged her sister, who smiled warmly in her childrens' direction. "It's okay, Josiah. You can bring Jaycee in here." The little boy shuffles in, a younger girl toddling behind him. The boy has Lizzie's wide blue eyes and Milton's curly hair, while the little girl is a mirror image of their mother, Caroline, except for her brown hair. They both rush to Lizzie, who picks up the girl and pats the spot on the bed next to her for the boy to sit. The children eye her carefully, cautious to the stranger that had invaded their home. "This is your aunt Josie, babes.", Lizzie explains, nervous of the reaction from both parties. "Josie, this is your nephew and niece." Josie turns to the children, her features softening in an inviting manner. "Hi, Josiah. Hello, Jaycee. It's so nice to meet you." Josiah studies Josie carefully, while Jaycee is preoccupied with playing with her mother's hair. Josiah looks from the stranger to his mother, his eyes asking a silent question that Lizzie seems to understand. "It's okay, baby boy.", she encourages him. "Josie is my sister, and she's very nice." 

Josiah grabs Josie's hand, tugging gently. "Will you play with me?", he asks shyly, and Josie nods as a reply. The two of them leave the room, and minutes later Lizzie can hear her son's laughter and Josie's soft giggles from his bedroom. She smiles, her eyes welling with tears. She had dreamed of her sister meeting her children since the day her firstborn had entered the world. She had always thought it wasn't possible, but now that Josie's laughter was once again filling her ears, she felt optimistic. Josie was home, and Lizzie would do everything in her power to make sure she stayed. 

______________________________________________________________________________

"It's not possible", Hope said in disbelief. Milton sighed, shifting the phone to his other ear. He was already tired of explaining the weird events of the night before, and he knew he would have to do it many times over before the day was even out. "It's her, Hope. She's sitting at our house with Lizzie and the kids right now." "Are you sure this isn't another hallucination? Lizzie's sworn that she's seen Josie before, and it turned out to be nothing." Milton could hear rustling over the phone, and he could practically see the way she was pacing around the airport. "See, that would make sense, Hope, if I hadn't dragged her in the damn door myself." "Hey, I'm sorry.", Hope apologized sincerely. "It's just…she's dead, MG." "Not anymore", Milton quipped. "I think you should come by when you land. We need to figure out what to do about her." "Yeah, okay", Hope agreed. "And whatever you do, don't tell-" "Hey, I gotta go. My flights about to leave; We'll talk soon." With that, the line clicked off. 

Milton returned home, greeted by the sight of his wife and his children curled up on the couch, asleep. He tucked a blanket around their shoudlers, kissing each member of his family on the forehead. He then entered the kitchen, surprised to see Josie sitting at the table. His wife's younger sister looked up, her eyes tired as she flipped through the newspaper in her hands. MG didn't have to ask where she got it- the yellowed pages gave away it's origin. It was the newspaper that had Josie's obituary written in it, the one Lizzie had refused to throw away. The look on Josie's face was one of disbelief, as if she'd seen a ghost. Except- in this case- she was the ghost they were all seeing. Milton sat down at the table across from her, taking the article from her hands. He set it aside, folding it neatly. He watched as the wheels turned in Josie's head, her mind trying desperately to grapple at the reality of the situation. "I was dead.", she said in a voice just above a whisper. Milton swallowed hard, nodding. "Yes, you were.", he confirmed. "Would you like some tea?" Josie just shrugged, pulling her knees up to her chest. "This isn't possible.", she mumbled, letting her head fall into her hands. Milton set the cup of hot liquid in front of her. "It shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is. You're here for a reason, Josie. We're going to figure out what happened to you.", he assured her. "Your father will come within the week, and Hope flies in tonight. When we're all together, we'll start looking into this. You know your father- he'll figure this out." Josie let out a shaky sigh, reaching out for the cup. "I hope you're right. My god, I hope you're right."  
__________________________________________________________________________  
"Who the hell knocks on someone's door at 3 am?", Lizzie grumbled, slipping on her slippers and wiping the sleep from her eyes. "I swear, If that's Hope, I'm going to kill her." Milton mumbled something intelligible, rolling over to face the other direction. Lizzie huffed in exasperation. "Some help you are.", she mumbled, getting up as the knocking grew more impatient. She ran down the stairs, unlocking the door. "What the hell is going on-", she started to rant, but she stopped in her tracks. On her doorstep was a disheaveled Penelope, and the fire in her eyes was at an intensity Lizzie had never seen. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Elizabeth Saltzman!", the girl exclaimed, barging into the house. She sat her suitcase aside, turning around to stare down the blonde saltzman twin. "Now, explain to me what Hope means by Josie came back from the dead!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all miss me?

"What are you doing here, Pen?", Lizzie asked with a frown. "you're supposed to be in Paris right now!" "Why didn't you tell me Josie is alive?!", Penelope growled, causing Lizzie to concede when she saw the wild rage in Penelope's eyes. "Before you ask how I know, Hope told me. Because apparently everyone else in Josie's life knew before me!" Lizzie closed the door gently, pulling Penelope into the living room. Penelope roughly pulled her arm from Lizzie's grasp, crossing them in front of her chest. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?", Lizzie apologized, trying to difuse the situation. "We didn't want to worry you. Especially after-" "Where is she?", Penelope ask, ignoring Lizzie's apology. Lizzie sighed. "She's sleeping, Pen. She was practically falling asleep at dinner, which makes sense when you’re used to sleeping twenty four hours a day for seven years." "How can you find humor in this?", Penelope scolded her in disgust. "Josie is alive, Elizabeth! She's here, and she's breathing and the question is, how the hell is that possible?!" Lizzie ran her hands through her hair. If she was being honest, she didn't know either how this was possible. The dead don't normally rise from the grave, unless they were in a zombie movie. Wait, did this make Josie a zombie? Lizzie shuddered; She sister was basically a fucking zombie now. That was definitely a new one. When she realized Penelope was waiting for an answer, she snapped back to the current situation. "I have no fucking clue how this happened, Penelope. The last thing I expected was my sister's corpse walking through the door. But she's here, and shouldn't we just be happy about that? It's a miracle!" Penelope shook her head at the girl. "No, it's not a miracle, Elizabeth. It's a disruption in the natural order of the world! Besides, if it can happen to Josie, who's not to say that it can happen to others? How are we going to explain away a bunch of dead people walking around mystic falls?" The two bickered back and forth until another person joined them downstairs. 

On the steps was the same girl Penelope had fallen in love with, but instead of blue lips and pale skin like she had been at her funeral, she was full of life once again. Penelope was rendered speechless, and the smile on Josie's face widened. "Penelope", she exhaled in relief, running into the girl's arms. Penelope caught her as their bodies collided, cradling Josie gently in her arms. Josie's arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and Penelope could feel her heart beating against her own chest. It was one thing hearing about Josie's return from Hope, but it was another thing entirely holding Josie in her arms. "I've missed you so much", Josie whispered, burying her head in Penelope's neck. Penelope stayed still, afraid the moment would end and Josie would disappear into thin air. When they reluctantly pulled away, and Josie stayed put in front of her, she couldn't hold back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Josie wiped them away with her hands, brushing her thumb against Penelope's cheek. The gesture only made Penelope cry harder. She had yearned for so long for this moment- to see Josie again, to hold her one more time. Somehow, her wish had come true. So why did it feel so wrong? "Hey, don't cry", Josie comforted her, bringing her forehead to rest against Penelope's. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere." Penelope let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Josie was here. She could finally breath again. Screw the universe. Screw the consequences that were sure to come with Josie's presence. Josie- her Josie- had returned to her. 

And this time, she wasn't letting her go without a fight.  
_______________________________________________________________  
The six of them sat in Lizzie's living room, huddled around Hope's spell book. MG and Lizzie sat to one side, his arm around her shoulders. Penelope and Josie sat on the other side of the couch, hand in hand as they watched Hope and Alaric skim through the pages. "There's nothing here about spontaneous resurrection. The only way someone can come back from the dead is if an abnormally powerful witch uses a spell to resurrect another supernatural." "Unless…Josie came back by herself", Alaric chipped in, confusing everyone in the room. "What do you mean "came back by herself?" She was dead!", Lizzie yelled, causing Josie to flinch. Lizzie sent her sister a sympathetic glance, realizing just how sore the subject was. "Something in Josie's soul must have been triggered. Usually it happens when it realizes that the death was…unjustified. Not at the right time." "Which makes sense, because I was murdered." Josie finished for him, and Alaric confirmed her inference. "But why now? I've been gone for seven years- why hasn't it happened sooner?" Alaric leaned back against the couch. "A soul needs energy to draw from, even more so since you're a siphoner and have no magic of your own. Something gave you energy; The question is, what and why?" "Does it matter?", Hope stated, gesturing to Josie. "She's alive now, and that's all that really matters." Alaric sighed, glancing over at his previously deceased child. "The energy inside of you, Josie- it won't last forever because it has no source to draw off of. Hope and Penelope might be able to keep it going for a while with magic but…eventually your soul will need more. An amount of energy that would be impossible to obtain." Josie's eyes widened in realization, and Penelope could feel her hold on her own hand tighten. "So you're saying I can't stay like this. Eventually…I'll just die again?" Alaric nodded remorsefully. "I'm sorry, honey. I wish there was something we could do, but even magic has its limits." "This is bullshit!", Hope yelled, slamming her fist on the table. "We get Josie back just to lose her again? No, I won't accept this. There has to be another way. There has to be!" "Hope, please-", Josie pleaded, but the redhead cut her off sharply. "Don't tell me to calm down, Josie! You don't know what it was like, okay? You don't know how hard it was to watch them put you in the ground. You don't know how hard it was going on knowing you were gone. You didn't have to go through the pain of losing your best friend, okay?! So, don't tell me to calm down- to accept this- because I am not going through losing you twice!" 

The room was silent for a moment after Hope's outburst before Josie stood, excusing herself from the room. Hope also exited the room, too struck with emotion to listen to any reasoning her friends could come up with. This left four people in the room: Alaric, who was shaking his head in disbelief, Lizzie and Mg who were holding each other for comfort, and Penelope, who was struggling to comprehend anything that was happening around her. If she was hearing Alaric right- and she really hoped she was mistaken- Josie's time with them was limited. No matter what they did, they wouldn't be able to hold onto her for long. Penelope didn't blame Hope for her outburst; She felt like screaming herself, but she had more willpower than that, especially with Josie's family silently grieving on the other side of the room. It reminded her way too much of the day of Josie's funeral, when they were all waiting for the hearse to arrive to take Josie's body to the graveyard. Alaric holding his remaining daughter close, comforting her with tears in his own eyes. Her and MG glancing at each other with mutual sympathy in their eyes. Just like that day, Penelope could feel the overwhelming burden of nausea and panic hit her. She stood quickly from the room, making it to Lizzie's bathroom just before she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. 

She heaved until her throat was sore, tears freely falling down the sides of her face. Another presence joined her in the bathroom, and she assumed it to be Hope from the gentle way she held her hair back as she shuddered and gagged. When said presence began to sing in a low, soft hum she was hit with the realization that it was not Hope with her. When she turned around to look at the person behind her, there Josie was: brown eyes holding love as well as concern, gentle hands still holding on to Penelope as if to steady her, and the same small, caring smile that Penelope had fallen in love with in her youth so many years ago. Josie handed her a handful of tissues, and Penelope took them gratefully. She cleaned herself up as best she could, aware of Josie watching her in the corner of the room. "Thank you.", she croaked out, her arms wrapped herself protectively and her eyes downcast. Josie stepped closer, placing her hands gently on Penelope's forearms. "Are you alright?", she whispered, and Penelope solemnly shook her head no. She had never been able to lie to Josie, and she wasn't about to start now. Josie sighed. "That makes two of us.", she admitted, her bottom lip quivering between her teeth. Almost as if on instinct, Penelope brushed her thumb against Josie's cheek, wiping away the trail of tears drying on her skin. The simple gesture brought a smile to Josie's face, and she reached up to place her hand over Penelope's. They stayed like that for a moment before Josie pulled away, her cheeks flushed slightly. "You had a long flight. Do you want to maybe… lie down with me?", Josie asked, gesturing to the guest room across the hall. Penelope opened her mouth to object- to explain to Josie why it wouldn't be a good idea for either of them to get attached again when Josie couldn't stay- but she decided against it when she noticed how tired Josie looked. Penelope could only imagine after the day's turmoil she looked similarly. She nodded, faking a smile. "That sounds like the greatest idea I've ever heard.", she admitted, causing Josie to giggle. Penelope hadn't realized how much she'd missed the sound until it faded away into the air around them. Josie grasped Penelope's hand, dragging her into the room and locking the door behind them. 

Later, after Josie had fallen asleep, Penelope lay snuggled against her, watching as Josie's bare chest rose and fell in her sleep. The weight of Josie's body against her's, her head laying in the crook of Penelope's neck while her soft breathing danced across Penelope's skin- it was all too perfect. Lying with Josie, perfectly fit together in the middle of Lizzie's guest room bed, was all too familiar; Being around Josie was all too normal, even after years apart. As much as she enjoyed it now- holding Josie, watching her shift in her sleep, watching the clock count down the minutes until the sun rose again- she knew it would hurt just as much when Josie was gone, leaving her to relearn once again how to live without her. That was the worst part about all of this, Penelope realized. The fact that she wouldn't have many more moments like this with Josie, and once she was gone Penelope would be alone again. She would go back to her one room apartment, go back to her office job, go back to a life that Josie wasn't a part of anymore. She'd done it once before, yes, but it had nearly killed her. Now that her dreams of holding Josie in her arms again had been realized, she didn't know if she'd survive the aftermath a second time. It was this thought that drove Penelope to carefully remove herself from under Josie's body, putting her clothes back on in a rushed manner. It was this idea that led her to pick up her suitcases, shrug on her coat, and exit Lizzie's house in the dark of night. She ordered her plane ticket back home as she waited for the cab she'd called to come take her to the hotel, and only after the transaction was finalized did Penelope feel the weight on her chest lighten. If she didn't say goodbye, she told herself, it wouldn't hurt as much. If she left Josie before Josie left her, it would be easier. 

For seven years, all Penelope wanted was a chance to say goodbye; but goodbye, she realized, wasn't the same as the closure she knew she'd never get.


	4. Chapter 4

Blondie: Penelope where the hell are you?   
Blondie: How could you just leave her like that, without even saying goodbye?!  
Blondie: PENELOPE PARK 

Wolfie: Pen, I know that you're upset, but you can't just take off in the middle of the night  
Wolfie: This isn't about our pain anymore Penelope   
Wolfie: We need to be strong for Josie. She needs us now.  
Wolfie: She needs you, Pen. 

MG: Please come back Penelope   
MG: C'mon, Josie is really upset   
MG: Please don't do anything stupid. Call me when you get home. 

Penelope slid her phone into her pocket, handing her plane ticket to the attendant. The annoyed looking woman took the ticket, typed something into the computer in front of her, and then handed Penelope her boarding pass. She pointed out the waiting area that Penelope could go to, then ignored the raven-haired girl's presence entirely while she turned to help the next person. Penelope grabbed her suitcases, reaching the designated area before sitting down with a tired sigh. The guilt hits her in waves- she feels like a coward. She wants more than anything to stay and fight for Josie, but she knows doing so will quite literally kill her. She glances down at the scars on her wrists- angry, pale lines against the backdrop of tanned skin. Losing Josie had nearly driven her to the edge of disaster, and she was only now just getting back on her feet again. She had a decent job, an apartment that was all her own, and a sorta-girlfriend that distracted Penelope from the emptiness she carried around constantly. Sure, Adele's touches were different- less gentle and more demanding, her taste more bitter alcohol instead of cherry lip-gloss. She was the complete opposite of Josie, and yet when Adele touched her, bringing her to that wonderful edge of everything and nothing at the same time, she could sometimes see Josie's smile before the sensation subsides, leaving Penelope colder than before. 

Leaving felt wrong- the thought of returning home didn't feel comforting anymore. Penelope knew, even when she denied it, that she was leaving her real home behind. She could not find that feeling in her apartment, or in her job, or in Adele when Josie was here- alive and breathing and so, so warm. She was evicting Josie from her life, because she knew if Josie made herself a place in Penelope's heart again, she would break. It would be just like the first night Penelope broke on Hope's kitchen floor, shattering in the arms of her best friend as blood-stained both of their clothes red. Penelope had promised herself long ago that she would never descend that low again- vowed to herself, her family, and her friend's that she would rise above the pain that plagued her heart. Now, just when she was starting to deliver on that promise, Josie was back. It was everything that Penelope had dreamed of since Josie's lungs took their last breath in her arms, and yet, it wasn't permanent. Penelope had heard Alaric loud and clear- no matter what they did, Josie would still die. No spell, or elixir, or amount of faith could change it. The thought made Penelope swallow so hard it hurt. She hated the way the world loved to fuck with her.

�"Penelope Priscilla Park, how fucking dare you!", a familiar voice shouted down the aisle, and Penelope freezes. Fully stops in her movements and ducks her head behind the magazine in her hands. Seconds later it is ripped away, and Penelope can see the dangerous look in Josie's eyes- overwhelming anger, of course, but pain as well. "You're a fucking coward. Leaving, in the middle of the night, without telling anyone or saying goodbye? You know what, fuck you for that! Did you ever stop to think how anyone would feel waking up and you weren't there?!" Josie continues ranting, and Penelope can feel the stares of the whole lobby of people on them. She cheeks burn pink, and she takes Josie's hand, dragging her into the bathroom where there are fewer people to witness the spectacle Josie had made. She locks the door behind her, breathing a sigh of relief. She finally- reluctantly- turns to Josie. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.", she apologizes, but it does little to soothe Josie. Josie is still yelling at her, berating her with words that Penelope had no idea Josie even knew- and somewhere in the midst of her brazen words, Penelope snaps. "Josie, stop!", she shouts, and Josie obeys, expecting some sort of explanation from the taller witch. "I know you think I took the easy way out, and maybe I did, but you don't understand, Josie- I lost you. I was the one that found you, that held you in my arms as you struggled to breathe." Josie's eyes soften, and Penelope can't tell if it's from realization or sympathy. "You took your last breath in my arms- the love of my fucking life died in my arms. Do you know how badly that fucked with me? I spent years dreaming of you just to wake up to any empty bed. I couldn't sleep, I barely ate; I had to move in with Hope after I dropped out of school and my job fired me." Penelope rolls up the sleeves of her shirt, noticing Josie's wince when she sees Penelope's scars. "One day, I couldn't take it anymore. I thought if this was life, I was better off dead. At least in death, I had a chance of seeing you." "Penny…", Josie murmurs, rubbing her thumb over the raised skin at Penelope's wrists. She goes to speak, but Penelope signals that she isn't done. The words are burning in her throat, and she desperately needs Josie to know. So, Josie simply listens. 

"Hope found me when she came home from work; Called 911 and rushed me to the hospital.", Penelope explains, the memory flashing before her eyes. "53 stitches; They said I was lucky to be alive because of how close to my veins I was. Then, they sent me to a psych hospital." Penelope takes a deep breath, and Josie squeezes her hand tightly to encourage her. "I spent nearly six months there, and after that I spent another ten months in daily therapy. Eventually, with my therapist's help, it got more bearable. We both agreed that it would be good for me to get out of mystic falls, so I did. I got a job in London, then a few months ago it got transferred to Paris. Then I get a call from Hope that my dead girlfriend isn't actually dead anymore, and I raced here." "I'm so sorry, Penelope", Josie murmurs softly, the anger in her eyes replaced with concern. "I didn't know, I-" "I know you didn't.", Penelope states, pulling her sleeves back down her arms with a rough tug. "But do you understand now why I can't stay? I…I can't lose you again, Josie. My heart won't be able to take it." Josie is silent for a moment, and Penelope knows it's because she's trying to keep the emotion out of her voice, focusing on Penelope's needs instead of her own. It's such a Josie thing to do that Penelope almost smiles despite their situation. Seven years apart, and it was as if Josie hadn't changed at all; Penelope, however, was a different person. It was odd, and it made Penelope feel twenty again in her presence. 

"Go." It's a simple order- one Penelope almost doesn't hear. When she looks at Josie again, she's forcing a smile, blinking away tears from her eyes. The sight makes Penelope want to take her into her arms, but she resists. If this is goodbye, it needs to be as mess-free as possible, for both of their sakes. "You're going to miss your flight." Penelope thinks of the ticket in her back pocket, and it suddenly feels as if the small slip of paper is burning a hole through her pocket. Josie hesitates, leaves a shaky kiss on Penelope's cheek. "I love you, Penelope Park." With that, Josie is out the door, and Penelope forces herself not to follow her. This is necessary, she repeats to herself. This is the right thing to do, she knows, but it doesn't stop the burn in Penelope's throat as tears run down her face. She doesn't bother to wipe them away- can't wipe them away, because she'd been unable to move since Josie had exited. She hears her plane's number being called, and her body moves of its own accord. She picks up her suitcases, wipes her cheeks dry, and rushes down to her plane's gate. 

"Ticket?", the attendant asks as soon as Penelope is seated, his voice gruff enough to snap Penelope out of her thoughts. She knows where her ticket is, of course, but she pretends to search for it, buying herself time. She takes a dramatic sigh, looks at the man with feigned concern. "I must have lost it- I am so sorry." The man huffs in annoyance. "I can't let you stay on the plane without a ticket, ma'am. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Penelope makes an act of herself of getting off the plane, apologizing the whole time, but once she steps off, relief washes over her. Her nausea subsides, and once she gets in a hailed cab, she tears the ticket to shreds. "Where to, miss?", the driver asks, all cheerful and smiling; It makes Penelope smile in return. �  
"I think I'm going home."


	5. Chapter 5

"She hasn't said a word since she came back from the airport", Lizzie stated, anxiously wringing her hands together. "I swear, if Penelope did or said something to hurt her, I'll go to Paris myself and-" "Love, you're overworking yourself.", MG murmured, taking both her hands into his. "Josie will come around, but she needs some time and space first. In the meantime, you should get some rest before Hope and her aunt come tomorrow." Lizzie took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut and nodding firmly. She pulled away from MG, crossing her arms across her chest, her lip bit between her teeth. In the moment, MG could see Josie in Lizzie's movements, and he understood a little better just how deeply the twins' bond ran. In the time after Josie's death, his wife had adapted some of her sister's habits- one of them being Josie's nervous lip-biting. MG sighed, placing his hand behind his wife's back and leading her up the stairs. "C'mon, love, let's get you to bed.", he suggested, and Lizzie did little to object. MG could see the exhaustion in his wife's features, and it pained him that the universe had taken their happy life and flipped it upside down. Even though it made him feel like a terrible person, part of him wished Josie had just stayed dead. After making sure Lizzie was comfortably in his bed, MG left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Daddy?", a small voice whispered, and MG turned to face his young son, who was standing at the end of the hallway. MG wiped the strained look off his face, forcing some warmth into his features so he did not scare the small boy. "What are you doing up, Jo?", MG asked, crouching down to Josiah's level. "You know it's time for bed, son." "I couldn't sleep cause I heard aunt Josie crying. Why is aunt Josie sad, daddy?", Josiah asked curiously, frowning at his father. MG gulped down the pain in his chest like live coals, holding his hand out for Josiah to take. As soon as Josiah had come into arms reach, MG scooped him up in his arms, making the boy giggle quietly. MG took a long moment to hug his son close- to commit the moment to memory, before carrying the boy back to his room. Josiah crawled into bed, and MG tucked him in tightly, placing a teddy bear under his arm. "Your aunt Josie is going through a lot right now, buddy.", MG explained, smoothing his son's curls away from his face. "But it's nothing you need to worry about." "But she's gonna be okay, right?", Josiah murmured, yawning sleepily. "I really like her; She's nice. I want her to stay forever and ever." MG dug his nails painfully into his palms to stop his emotions from overtaking before kissing Josiah goodnight. "Everything will be alright, kiddo; but it's bedtime now- you have school in the morning." MG looked over at his quiet son, but the boy had already drifted off to sleep. MG exited the room, keeping the door cracked just enough that a stream of light from the hallway poured into the room. 

When MG descended the stairs, he noticed that the living room light had been switched on. When he entered the room, there Josie was- wrapped in the comforter from their spare bedroom, a bowl of Lucky Charms on her lap. She gave him acknowledgment as he walked in, making room on the couch for him to sit. MG sank into the seat with an exhausted sigh, leaning back into the plush comfort on the cushions. On the screen was old reruns of a no longer popular game show. However, by the looks of it, Josie wasn't paying much attention to the television screen. It was as if her body was there, but her mind was not; Left back at the airport with Penelope, MG guessed. As much as he loved his eccentric best friend for her spontaneous personality and erratic decision making, he knew what she had done was wrong. Seeing the way the spark in Josie's eyes died when she realized what had happened had hurt him to an extent, too. While he knew that Penelope could have handled the situation better, he also knew why Penelope felt she had to leave so suddenly. After all, wasn't he the one who drove her to her daily therapy appointments for almost a year? And wasn't he the one that encouraged her to leave mystic falls and find new dreams? He could never be mad at her, not really- not after how long he had watched her scrambled to regain her life after Josie's death. He understood why Penelope had left, and he knew deep down Josie did, too. 

"I'm guessing you saw her, huh?", MG asked, testing the waters of the brunette's emotions. Josie shrugged, moving the now soggy cereal around in her bowl. "It didn't matter; She still had to leave, and I get it.", Josie admitted, tucking her feet underneath herself. "It's better this way; It won't hit her as badly when I have to go again." The look in Josie's eyes was faraway and sad, and it made MG want to reach out and hug her. He didn't, however, because he knew that he was not the person that could fix Josie's sadness. That person was thousands of miles away and was unlikely to come back. So, MG simply sat with her until the doorbell rang unexpectedly. MG excused himself from the room, watching to the front door and opening it just enough to peek outside. When he saw Penelope standing on her doorstep, a part of him- surprisingly- wasn’t very surprised. He opened the door wider, allowing Penelope and her suitcases to step inside. MG silently took her suitcases, gesturing toward the living room. "I think she's been waiting for you, too.", MG admitted, and the relieved smile that Penelope gave him before joining Josie in the living room was a confirmation for his beliefs. 

However short of a time it was for, Josie had come back for a reason, And it was forcing them all to simply live in each moment she was still there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: POSIE SEXY TIMES AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

What they're doing is wrong, and what's worse is both she and Josie are aware of it. She felt it in the way Josie hesitated to deepen their kiss before throwing all caution to the wind. She knows it in the way her fingers stumble to unbutton Josie's pajama top, causing Josie to giggle at her frustration. She settles on simply pulling the shirt unceremoniously over Josie's head, because like Josie, she knows their actions are wrong but she's too overwhelmed to care. Because the touch against her face is familiar, and Josie tastes just like she always did- strawberry lipgloss and herbal tea- and Penelope feels like she's living within a dream. She's tentative, but Josie is ravenous. She nearly rips Penelope's blazer off her shoulders, pulling her white blouse off of her in a quick blur of fabric. Josie's hands are cold against her skin, but the frigid feeling is gone seconds later as Josie's body heat equates with her own. It's another beautiful reminder that Josie is alive- alive, and breathing heavily in Penelope's ear with built-up want and lust. She follows as Josie leads her to the bed, pushing her against It forcefully. Penelope couldn't stop this even if she wanted to; She'd never been one to be able to deny Josie anything- especially herself.

Josie's fingers are quick, unhooking her bra just before Penelope's back hits the bed. And suddenly Josie's touch is blanketing her in warmth and Penelope can only mewl in response, urging Josie on. Running her fingers through Josie's hair as Josie lays messy wet kisses down her neck and chest. She's going to have marks in the morning, but that's tomorrow Penelope's problem. Right now, Josie's touch feels electric and Penelope is her receptive conduit. As good as it feels to be lathered in affection by Josie, Penelope's possessive side takes over. She flips to hover over Josie, pinning her down by her wrists into the mattress. She runs her hands down Josie's neck, over her collarbone, to lie just where Josie's heart is. The thumping against her hands is the most relieving feeling Penelope has even experience. She buries her head in Josie's neck, sucking marks into her skin as her hands work over Josie's body. Even after years apart, pleasing Josie is muscle memory to Penelope. Her touches bring strangled moans and gasping breaths out of Josie, and to Penelope it's as simple as playing an instrument she's practiced a thousand times before. Josie is writhing under her, whispering her name into the air between strained breaths, and it is the most beautiful sound Penelope's ever heard. 

Penelope bites marks into Josie's flesh, leaving behind red and purple marks that will show in the morning. Josie doesn't seem to mind, so Penelope doesn't hesitate or stop. She wants to claim Josie- to show the universe who Josie belongs to. She trails down Josie's body, fingertips gliding over pale skin- starting at her collarbone, down past her chest, over her stomach, to the place Josie's been guiding her to all along. She knows Josie wants the rougher side of Penelope- teeth, and tongue, fingers working at a torturous pace- but Penelope doesn't quite give it to her. No, she takes her time with Josie, and not just because she's in the mood to torture the brunette; No, it's because there are so many things that Penelope never appreciated enough about Josie, and now she wanted to treasure every inch of her ex-girlfriend- lay down and worship at the altar of Josie's body. The freckles on her hips, the scar on her inner thigh from a childhood injury when Josie fell off her bike. The way she bites her lip as she looks down at Penelope expectantly, her pupils blown wide and her irises pitch black with lust. She wants to know by heart the expanse of Josie's physique, impress it in her memory so that she never forgets again how precious Josie truly is. 

When Josie starts moving her hips impatiently, however, Penelope concedes, giving in to Josie's desires. Skillfully, Penelope reduces Josie to roaring moans and pants, feeling Josie's nails sear angry red lines into her back. It stings enough that Penelope notices it, but she's not bothered by it; Because being intertwined with Josie- body, and soul- is worth the dull pain. Josie's volume increases, teetering on the edge of euphoria, and it is with a few soft-spoken words of encouragement that Josie comes. Her head buried in Penelope's neck, holding her so impossibly close that all Penelope can feel, hear, and sense is Josie, Josie, Josie. They stay melded together long after Josie's breathing had returned to normal, the only sound in the room the soft whistle of wind coming in through the cracked window and the clock in Lizzie's hallway.

Penelope dares to look down and meets Josie's eyes, heavy with sleep and struggling to stay open on their own. Through her drowsiness, Josie smiles; it's warm and genuine, and it pains Penelope that there will come a time that she will never see Josie's infectious grin again. However, that time had not come yet; Josie was safe in her arms and all of her worries could wait until morning. Penelope yawns tiredly, resting her chin atop Josie's head. She threads her fingers through Josie's hair as sleep comes to claim her, and for once her dreams are less comforting than reality. 

Because, for Penelope, she dreams had already come true.


End file.
